Oh, how I’ve ch-ch-changed

In general, I think the changes in my life have been positive, but there’s one thing that bothers me immensely about how I’ve changed. Somehow, over time, I’ve accepted objectification. I’ve accepted being treated like a piece of meat that men can verbally harass without consequence. Along the way, I traded my no-shavin’, no-makeup-wearing ways for a mini skirt and a pair of heels. And yeah, it’s fun to dress like that sometimes and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just that for me, those changes were more than physical: they are the visual effects of a change in attitude. Those changes demonstrate that I stopped being who I wanted to be, dressing how I wanted to dress, and started dressing how I thought men wanted me to dress. I started needing attention from men to convince myself that I’m an attractive woman. And that’s just not okay with me.

It took a block party barbecue in suburbia for me to realize this, but I finally did. Admittedly, it was nice to have the attention while I was all gussied up. In the end, however, that attention is only temporary, and it leaves a void when the attention is no longer there. It leaves me constantly needing approval from men to validate that I’m worth a damn. No one should need to tell me that; it should be something I believe on my own.

So here’s to getting back there. Here’s to me wearing my Cardinals jersey out on the town when all of my friends are dressed to the nines. Here’s to me focusing on being happy with myself instead of seeking approval from the opposite sex. And here’s to me just being me. Nothing more and most certainly nothing less.