Future Cat Ladies of the World UNITE

There’s been a trend developing in my life: the neighborhood cats show me an increasing amount of affection. They run timidly away from strangers, but they love me. I’m sure this is mainly due to the fact that I don’t necessarily like cats (I don’t dislike them, either), but I think there’s something bigger here, lurking under the pavement. I think these cats are warning me of my inevitable fate: I will be a cat lady. And, as formulaically as I introduced my top 5 dealbreakers in a previous post, I introduce the top 5 indicators that I’ll be a cat lady in around 20 years:

5. I’m perfectly content lying on my couch watching shows like Law & order, Desperate Housewives, and Castle for hours at a time. If I were an old lady, I would probably refer to them as “my stories.” I’m predicting that I’ll be into soap operas in 10 years.
4. I LOVE Wheel of Fortune, I listen to NPR, and if I could watch the Price is Right every day, I would. Now, you might think liking these shows and NPR remind you more of an old man. Well, you might be right, but the propensity to enjoy such programming at such a young age is a pretty good sign that I’ll be cat lady.
3. I am getting anxious for the time in my life when it’s acceptable for me to wave a cane at the neighborhood ruffians and tell them to get off my lawn. I’ve decided that age is going to be 35 for me.
2. When invited to a pajama party as an adult, many women might take that opportunity to wear something a little more scandalous or sexy. Not this girl. I chose to borrow Christine’s muumuu. On top of that? I put my hair up in rollers, wore bright blue eyeshadow, and tacky, red lipstick. I told everyone it was a glimpse in to my future. The real indicator? No one questioned the possibility.
1. When I was thinking about the number one indicator for why I’ll be at a cat lady, Lundy suggested something about how much I love baking. Because that wasn’t cat lady enough for me, I thought about how one day I could bake treats for my cats, dress them up in little bonnets, and throw a tea party for them. And that right there, the fact that I think weird stuff like cat tea parties, THAT’S how I know I’ll be a cat lady in 30 years. And it’s going to be 100% awesome.